For Restaurants

I evaluate cream of crab soup. If you serve cream of crab soup in Maryland, we should talk.

What is available: a scheduled evaluation visit, filmed and posted to Instagram and TikTok. A content package, where your establishment also receives the footage for its own use. Certification, for establishments whose soup has already earned 90% or better. A sponsored placement on this site, clearly labeled.

What is not available: the score. Creaminess, crabbiness, and price are recorded as observed. Paid visits are disclosed. The spreadsheet does not accept payment. This policy is not negotiable, and it is the reason an evaluation is worth anything.

Half of my viewership watches from the neighborhoods where these restaurants operate. The other half moved away and is homesick. Both halves are hungry.